JULIET CAPULET

daughter to Cappy Capulet

The Player: Jane Jensen



TROMEO QUE

son to Monty Que

The Player: Will Keenan



MURRAY MARTINI

friend to Tromeo

The Player: Valentine Miele



CAPPY CAPULET

father to Juliet

The Player: Maximillian Shaun



LONDON ARBUCKLE

engaged to Juliet

The Player: Steve Gibbons



SAMMY CAPULET

cousin to Juliet

The Player: Sean Gunn



LEMMY

father to Motorhead

The Player: Who do you think?



NESS

cook to the Capulets

The Player: Debbie Rochon



BENNY QUE

cousin to Tromeo

The Player: Stevie Blackehart



ROSY

girlfriend to Tromeo

The Player: Jacqueline Tavarez



TYRONE CAPULET

cousin to Juliet

The Player: Patrick Connor



THE PENIS MONSTER

not-too-subtle Freudian vision to Juliet

The Player: Special Effects Artist Louie Zakarian's Arm



GEORGIE CAPULET

cousin to Juliet

The Player: Tamara Craig Thomas



MONTY QUE

father to Tromeo

The Player: Earl McKoy



DETECTIVE ERNIE SCALUS

detective to precinct 113

The Player: Gene Terinoni



INGRID CAPULET

mother to Juliet

The Player: Wendy Adams



BRITTANY

girlfriend to Benny

The Player: Antonia Lurie



FATHER LAWRENCE

friend to Tromeo

The Player: Flip Brown



HARRY

friend to Tromeo

The Player: Superstar Steve Loniewski



VIC

oboe instructor to Juliet

The Player: John Fiske



PAULINE

girlfriend to Vic

The Player: Caroline Smith



PETER

servant to the Capulets and all-around party-girl

The Player: Tiffany Shepis



1-900-HOT-HUNK

phone sex operator to Juliet

The Player: Joe Fleishaker



JAMES GUNN

happy father to two fat kids

The Player: James Gunn



LLOYD KAUFMAN

guy spitting water

The Player: Lloyd Kaufman